AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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