I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
