I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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