areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Randomize
