Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
