What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
