Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
