I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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