maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
