Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
