doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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