I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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