I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
In America we eat man semen.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
