I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
