You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize