I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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