i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The Olympian is in my bed
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
