i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
