I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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