i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
