My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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