I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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