i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
