i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
