well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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