Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
