I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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