just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
