Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You work out of a Hotel?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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