Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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