I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize