That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think a kid would responsible me up
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize
