I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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