I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize