Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
