I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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