So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
