we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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