C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
