You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
