You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
