I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
