I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
