When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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