Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
