I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
