Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize