For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
