Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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