Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
