Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
