i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I looked at my own cervix.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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