what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
