Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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