ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
