He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize