Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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