I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
