Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
