WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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