Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
