I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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