if i can run in heels then i can drive
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
