we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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