Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize