god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Who died my cat blue again?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize