question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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