I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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