i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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