So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Randomize
