I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
