Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
