I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
