So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Text me some of your sweat
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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