my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
