Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I want to fling myself into the sun
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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