Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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