it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
