We won't sleep together?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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