I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Drake has all the answers
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
