Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Help. Why am I so naked?
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