i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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