maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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